


red (like roses)

by infinity_girl (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Essentially Keith's Life Story, Happy Ending, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 14:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17408810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/infinity_girl
Summary: Because Lance? Lance makes everything okay. Lance makes the pain go away, and it feels like Keith's lungs are being cleared because he can finally breathe.





	red (like roses)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired a bit by this animatic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qG2_am80YUc. 
> 
> It's amazing, and you should check it out. The song in it is Shower by OOHYO, and is completely worth a listen. 
> 
> I'd recommend you to listen to it for this fic :)

Keith is alone. He’s never had someone there for him, never had anyone who hadn’t left. 

 

And there must be a pattern, Keith thinks. Because everyone who’s ever cared, ends up leaving. 

 

And then he’s always back where he started, in the exact same place, never getting anywhere. 

 

His mom left so early in his life, he doesn’t even remember. He doesn’t remember anything about her but her scent. 

 

All Keith remembers is that she smelled like strawberries. She smelled like the summertime, like  _ home _ . And he does everything he possibly can to hold onto every last memory of her. 

 

When Keith was four, he’d found a bottle of travel-sized women’s perfume on his dad’s nightstand. It had been half used. When Keith had brought it to his nose to smell it, it had smelled like everything he’d ever imagined it to be. 

 

It smelled  _ fresh _ . it smelled like everything bright, and most of all? It smelled a bit like strawberries. 

 

Keith’s never let go of it. He keeps it in one of his jacket pockets, and never forgets it. It’s a reminder of her. Of the woman he never got to meet, of everything she was, everything she could have been to him. 

 

Keith knows nothing about her. Whenever he mentions it to his dad, he freezes up. So he’s left to imagine. 

 

Does he look like her? Did he get his black hair from her? Is she pretty? How tall is she?

 

In Keith’s mind, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. And even meeting her, even seeing what she looked like, even learning her worst secrets, that will never change. 

 

His memory of her, his  _ dream _ of her, is what he’s held onto for so long. He won’t let anything change his image of her. His image of the most perfect woman ever to walk the Earth. 

 

But in the end, she’s gone. He doesn’t know what kind of mother she would have been, whether she would have read him bedtime stories, and tucked him in at night. 

 

Whether she’s dead, alive, who knows. She left. She left, and she probably has no intention of coming back. 

 

He wasn’t enough to make her stay.

 

He’ll never know what her voice sounds like. Never know what her hugs feel like. Never know how she loves.

 

And his father. 

 

He was everything Keith could ever want from a parent. 

 

Keith could tell it was difficult, just from the way that his dad used to look conflicted when Keith came to him, almost wondering what to do.

Keith’s dad wasn’t ready to be a father alone. But he did his best. 

 

He put food on the table, he loved Keith like no other, he took him out to go eat ice cream, their smiles wide.

 

His dad was his everything. He was a hero.

 

Keith remembers being a kid, and going to school and telling all of the other kids that his dad was a  _ firefighter  _ and that he saves lives every single day, just like Batman. 

 

(Keith was never a Superman kid. Batman was obviously  _ way cooler _ .)

 

And his dad never asked for anything in return. He helped people, with nothing in it for him. 

 

His dad was his hero. He was a hero until the day he died. He was a hero even after he died.

 

They say that you die twice. Once when your heart stops beating, and one when everyone who ever knew you forgets you.

 

Keith will never forget his father. He’ll never forget the man he was, how he saved everything, even thought it was hardly his responsibility. 

 

In the end, that’s what killed him.

 

And then he was alone. He had no one, absolutely no one. No one to take him in, no one to love him. He was put in the system, where he was just another meal ticket, just until someone could look past all of his flaws, and possibly love him. 

 

Keith doesn’t even remember how many families they put him in. All he knows is that in the end, no one wanted him enough to keep him. 

 

And then Shiro.

 

Takashi Shirogane. Shiro the Hero. 

 

Shiro was his hero. 

 

Shiro saved him, reminded him what it was like to be loved, to be cared for, to  _ matter _ . Shiro gave him his childhood back. 

 

He got his ice cream runs back, he got his  _ family  _ back. 

 

Shiro is the one who got him to believe in love again. The one who got him to understand that no, love isn’t only going to hurt you. Love can be beautiful. Love lets two people be everything to each other.

 

Love is when two parts of the same whole come together, and reconnect. They’re your other half, your better half. They’re your everything, your whole world, and everything revolves around them. They’re everything you could ever want in a person, and nothing could ever make you change your opinion about them. 

 

Keith remembers looking up to Shiro, eyes watering, asking the age old question, “Then why does everyone leave?”

 

Shiro had pushed the hair from Keith’s face, and tucked it behind his ear, “Sometimes, you don’t have a choice.”

 

Shiro was his lighthouse. Guiding through the darkness of the seas. 

 

Every single day, he came home to someone who loved him, and took care of him. And Keith can’t thank Shiro enough for that. 

 

Adam is Shiro’s whole world. Keith can tell from the way that Shiro smiles whenever Adam looks his way, like someone has saved him, like someone has freed him from every burden he’s ever had to bear.

 

At first, Keith was confused by their relationship. It’s obvious, how much Adam loves Shiro. How much Shiro loves Adam. 

 

And Keith supposes that he had never really known what love was, until he saw the way that those two loved one another. 

 

They loved like tomorrow would never come. They loved unconditionally, and you could see it. 

 

There was never any misconception over their relationship. The second you saw the sparkle in Shiro’s eyes when he saw Adam, when you saw the way that Adam hugged Shiro, like he’d never let go, you knew.

 

They were in love. The purest form of it,  _ every  _ form of it.

 

When Shiro said he was leaving for Kerberos, it Keith. Because Shiro had a choice. Shiro didn’t  _ have _ to leave. He  _ wanted  _ to leave Keith behind, all alone, back on Earth.

 

Adam had lashed out. Keith didn’t blame him at all. Shiro was Adam’s universe, and that was why Keith knew why he had to raise his voice.

 

He loved Shiro so much, he couldn’t bear to see him in pain. Adam couldn’t hold onto memories, onto moments, for so long. He couldn’t clutch onto memories.

 

And most of all? Keith thinks that Adam wanted to know in the end, what mattered more to Shiro. Whether he could get Shiro to stop, or if his dream meant more to him than Adam ever would.

 

After their fight, Keith remembers hearing Adam crying, his heart broken.

 

And that’s when Keith knows that Shiro can’t lose everything.

 

As much as he wants to hate him for leaving him, hate his very memory for giving him a home, and then storming off the other way, Shiro needs someone in his corner. 

 

So as much as Keith wants Shiro to stay, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream. He just smiles supportively.

 

There are no tears until after he’s gone.

 

Keith and Adam wait, they wait for so long. They both know that everything Adam said was empty words. Because as much as Adam hates it, Shiro is the person he loves. He can’t unlove him, he could never hate him. Shiro is Adam’s better half, the person who makes him whole.

 

It’s probably why Adam shattered when Shiro was declared dead.

 

Adam became a fragment of the man he was. He becomes angry, broken.

 

And Keith can’t do it anymore.

 

He gets himself kicked out, and he runs away, as fast as he can. He runs somewhere where no one can hurt him.

 

He runs away, far, far away. 

 

And a year passes. A year of loneliness. 

 

He doesn’t know who he is anymore. He doesn’t know who he’s supposed to be.

 

Shiro gave him a purpose, gave him a goal, something to become. He was going to be the best pilot ever, with no one standing in his way. With Shiro by his side, he had felt invincible, and he’s going to get that back. 

 

He swears he will.

 

And he starts getting some weird readings. Some rumors going around, and  _ something _ is off. Something isn’t right. 

 

He hacks into the Garrison. Well, more like he breaks into the Garrison and meets someone else in the monitor room, already hacking into the Garrison.

 

A girl. She’s young, and definitely not a student. She’s way too young to be here, but her intelligence probably exceeds that of majority of the students here.

 

The second he saw the Kerberos Mission pulled up, they’d begun a friendship of necessity. Partners.

 

He doesn’t know her name, but he swears she looks familiar. She sounds familiar.

 

He knows her, he just doesn’t know how yet.

 

And for the first time in a long time, Keith lets himself believe that maybe, just maybe, Shiro is alive. 

 

He calls Adam. Adam is disbelieving at first, unable to comprehend the  _ idea _ that Shiro may be alive.

 

Give or take a couple of weeks, he’s pulling out restricted files, and flaunting his credentials wherever he goes. 

 

And they’ve almost cracked it. They’ve almost figured everything out.

 

Shiro touches down on Earth, and Keith acts. 

 

He texts Adam two simple words, “He’s here.”

 

He doesn’t get a reply. He doesn’t know whether it’s from shock, or happiness, or a mix of every emotion possible.

 

Then everything happens at once. They’re all going into space, and it’s crazy.

 

And then Lance McClain happens.

 

Keith remembers him. He just doesn’t want to admit it. 

 

How else do you say that you remember the guy who never talked to you, but always smiled. Lance’s smile was beautiful. It could probably save galaxies, who needs Voltron?

 

And then they meet again.

 

They’re rivals, but it never really feels hostile. It feels like a challenge, a challenge to be better. A challenge to improve. 

 

They’re friends, through the rivalry. Because let’s be honest, they’re the worst rivals ever. 

 

What kind of rivals have each others back, no matter what? What kind of rivals tell each other that everything is going to be okay, that it’s okay to be different, that it’s okay to be you, that it’s okay to cry, that it’s okay to-

 

Lance has been there for him through  _ everything _ . Lance has never left. 

 

When Shiro is gone, Lance is the one pulling Keith in for a hug, Lance is the one telling him that it’s  _ okay _ .

 

Lance makes everything okay.

 

And then suddenly there’s six paladins, and five lions.

 

Keith said to leave the math to Pidge, but he’s been doing it himself.

 

He leaves. He walks out, ready to find his truth. He sees the hurt in Lance’s eyes, the hurt that Keith didn’t tell Lance about this, but Keith doesn’t want to see Lance hurt. So he looks the other way when he leaves, and looks to the future.

 

He’s getting into a habit of leaving, isn’t he? Because everyone has always left him, he’s leaving everyone that matters to him. 

 

He hates himself for it, but he knows he has to do this.

 

He holds onto the perfume bottle as he’s making his way out, chanting like a mantra, “I’ll find her.” He’s ready to find out where he comes from, and he’s ready to find out who his mom really is.

 

He can finally find out what a mother’s love feels like.

 

And then he finds her. Kroalia. 

 

And he loves her. 

 

He loves her, despite her leaving, loves her despite her heritage, he loves her  _ despite everything _ .

 

They get stuck in the Quantum Abyss for two years. A little part of Keith loves it. He feels like he’s become a new person. 

 

He has someone who loves him. He has his mom back. He loves her so much, and she loves him too. It feels like a fantasy, like a dream.

 

But that doesn’t throw his mind off of Lance. Because Lance has never left him, has always been there for him, but this time  _ Keith  _ is the one that left.

 

After he comes back, after Lotor is gone, after Shiro’s clone is taken care of, after the real Shiro’s back, Keith apologises to Lance.

 

He cries, and there’s tears streaming down his face, and Lance hugs him. They sit like that for a while, Keith sobbing into Lance’s back, all while Lance rubs Keith’s back, and plays with his hair.

 

And Keith is a new person. Even a blind man could tell you that everyone is a bit thrown off by that.

 

Keith and Lance fall into a new pattern, and they’re best friends. 

 

They don’t have the history that Lance and Hunk do, and they don’t have the brotherly relationship that Keith and Shiro have.

 

They’re  _ them _ . They’re each others.

 

The journey back to Earth is tiring. Everyone is going a little stir crazy, and that’s when Keith feels something stirring in his stomach when he sees Lance and Allura smiling at each other, love in their eyes.

 

_ Love _ .

 

Lance loves Allura. And Keith cries again. 

 

When they make it back to Earth, Lance asks Allura out on a date. 

 

And, good lord, why does that hurt so much? It shouldn’t be painful, Keith should be happy for Lance, happy for his best friend, getting the woman of his dreams.

 

But he’s not. His gut is twisting, he’s shaking, and the tears just  _ won’t stop flowing _ . It breaks his heart, and he doesn’t know why.

 

Shiro looks at him, sadness in his eyes, and tells him he’s in love.

 

In love with Lance.

 

That’s a new concept for sure.

 

God, when did this happen?

 

He tries to smile whenever he sees Lance and Allura, but he can’t. He wants to support them, tell them how perfect they are for each other, but he can’t do it without feeling like he’s breaking inside.

 

He does it anyways.

 

He’s being too selfish. So he decides, as long as Lance is happy, he’s happy too. And Allura makes Lance happy. So he plasters on a smile, even though he doesn’t know if he’s ever cried harder.

 

Then Allura dies.

 

Keith has never seen Lance fall apart so fast. It reminds him of Adam, after Shiro died. 

 

Lance is clinging into everything he has, he’s grabbing on anything and everything, trying to stay afloat. 

 

Keith doesn’t know what to say when Lance confesses. 

 

Keith wants to say  _ yes, yes I love you. Yes, you mean everything to me, and you’re my whole entire world. I want to be yours, I want you to be mine. _

 

But he knows that Lance doesn’t mean it. Lance is still healing, he needs time before he goes into another relationship.

 

Keith can’t look Lance in the eye when he says no.

 

He tries to explain, his heart breaking, “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, but you’re healing, Lance. You need time to heal, to find yourself without Allura, without someone to love.”

 

Lance lashes out, “If you loved me, you would be here for me!”

 

Keith cries when he leaves for the Blades of Marmora. He promises Lance, he promises, “I’ll meet you on Altea. I’ll see you there, in a year. If you still love me then, then we’ll go out on a date.”

 

Lance asks for one kiss before he leaves, and how can he say no? He’s weak, he’s so weak for Lance.

 

Shiro says he’s proud of him for doing so. Keith doesn’t feel proud of anything he’s just done.

 

It’s a year of rebuilding. He turns the Blades into a humanitarian organization. A way to help everyone affected by the war.

 

Lotor’s generals join him in his efforts, as do many of the Galra’s ranks.

 

They do some good, they save people, but it’s not enough to take Lance off of Keith’s mind.

 

When they meet on Altea, Lance asks if there’s anyone new in Keith’s life. Keith shakes his head no. Keith asks Lance, and Lance smiles wide, “Never.”

 

They kiss. It’s passionate, full of longing and desire. It’s everything Keith’s wanted for so long, and it’s so  _ right _ . He’s never felt anything better.

 

When they pull apart, they laugh like children. Keith is so happy, and from the sparkle in Lance’s eyes, Lance is too. 

 

Keith pulls Lance close, and whispers, “I’m never letting you go.”


End file.
